Stubborn people are hugely frustrating. As a stubborn person myself, I have observed my friends’ faces drop with exasperation as I again dismiss their solid, well thought out argument rather than at least partly entertain it.
This trait, along with a love of late-renaissance Italian loft conversions, I share with Arsene Wenger.
He’d rather fail than change. After all, how could he be wrong? He’s studied at great length every league in Europe from the bottom to the top every day of his life since he was three and a half, has a PhD in footballology and listens to re-runs of radio commentary from Ligue 3 games through headphones whilst sleeping in an oxygen chamber.
He is the Einstein of football, a sporting scientist to the purist, most devoted degree. If football had a bible, he’d burn it.
So maybe it’s Faith he’s missing.
Some things cannot be explained, and are not always what they seem. Space, deep sea ocean life, the hidden functions of the brain, and female intuition: these are just a few examples.
Wenger has the following theory:
RVP x Cesc / 4-3-3 + Nasri squared = the square root of Arshavin
Now if we count ‘RVP’ as 1 and ‘Nasri’ as the provider of the assist, then Arsenal should, obviously, win every match they play. But they don’t.
This is because football is played by humans, creatures far too complicated to apply logic and scientific reasoning to.
Psychology, Wenger’s least favourite subject at school, also has its part to play, as well as certain other truths rooted in common law, dismissed from Wenger’s progressive school of thought for being ‘too boring’. Par example:
“If one man should jump at the same thyme a fellow man should jump, and the first man is taller, it is the first who’s forehead glances the leathersphere toward the onion bag…………so sayeth the Lord. Amen.”
Let’s apply some common truths and psychology to Arsenal.
Truths
1. If you don’t shoot, you won’t score.
2. If you don’t stay goal side, you can’t defend.
3. If you can’t beat your man in the air, he will get to the ball first.
4. If they always beat their man in the air, your team won’t score headers.
5. If you can’t beat the first man with a cross, don’t bother trying.
Psychology
1. If they score first, it makes the game twice as hard, never let that happen.
2. If your defenders have no faith in their keeper, they will lose confidence in themselves.
3. If your midfield has no confidence in your defence, they will lose confidence in themselves.
4. If your strikers have no confidence in the midfield, they will have no confidence in themselves.
5. If you’re 28 and five foot nothing, and have to constantly try and create space by running like a madman the entire game only to ultimately be barged off the ball by two great hulking defenders who are watching you like a hawk, it’s going to make your head drop.
More could be applied. The point is Wenger has to look beyond the factors that come up in sour-faced post match interviews.
It wasn’t so much the second goal that defeated us as the first. We weren’t concentrating on the first ball into the box but apart from that we played well. They played a physical game and marked our players well.
Do those phrases sound like something you need a PhD in footballology to work out?
No. Because they’re chop-smackingly OBVIOUS.
Remember that Chris Rock sketch about mothers who say, “I look afta ma kids!” and Chris’ response is, “YOU’RE SUPPOSE TA!”
Well Wenger, “YOU’RE SUPPOSE TA!”
Your team is supposed to always concentrate, always make life difficult for the players who are supposed to be marking them, suppose to take their chances, defend corners and complete crosses. These are the basics and Arsenal are in the top class doing advanced studies alongside clever kids like Barcelona, when they’re still struggling with their ten times table.
I love this team and their manager, and I know we can be successful again….but how I wish Wenger knew the solution to his problems is as plain as the nose on his face.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The January Transfer Window!
The January Transfer Window (JTW) has, like the last day of her big sister summer’s existence, promised much and delivered little. Hyped and anticipated as a period of transition and change it has delivered uncertainty, confusion and tedium.
Manchester City were hotly anticipated to spend as frivolously as ever, yet having at time of writing just about wrapped up the capture of Patrick Vieira from Inter Milan, they have announced no more players will come or go.
Whilst in one sense it is reassuring that despite their resources they are not throwing money around, Mancini’s choice seems bizarre. Vieira is 33, out of form and out of favour in Italy.
City already have De Jong, one of the success stories of the season, protecting their back four, a job which Kompany can also handle comfortably.
“B….but…”, City splutter, “He won titles with Arsenal, Juventus (kind of) and Inter, and he’s got loads of experience! And he worked under Mancini once already!”
All true. But what does it mean now? Arsenal are a whisper away from second place in the Premiership with a squad which, compared to City, are complete rookies.
Yes experience is important, but you can’t measure it out in the same way as talent. “Vieira may not have the speed and ability of Messi, but he’s got experience!” Wow, put me down for three please.
Talking of Arsenal, how I dread this times. Wenger won’t even allow us to dream, snaffling out any pesky rumours of us signing a star forward with a weary, “I like the player, but we could not sign him,” followed by a shrug.
Instead he drags long term targets around like a pretty drunk girl staggering across the dancefloor, dragging her expensive coat through beer and sick and trying to find the door.
She makes occasional smiles and signals which the rest of us lap up gleefully, convinced something incredible is going to happen, and then she just ends up stuffing a number just about containing six zeroes in your pocket and getting a taxi, and we have to wait three years before Nasri hits form.
Fergy behaves admirably at these times, signing the one or two players he wants quickly and smoothly and then shutting the fuck up about it. He allows the papers to speculate and gesticulate wildly and gets on with doing his job. United will sign no one during JTW’s visit.
Chelsea always seem to be the side that the great and good of European football want to go to. Other English teams are too English, like gravy and mining, apart from Arsenal who don’t have any money.
If they manage to get Sergio Aguero, they’ll have done well. He’s young, seems like a lovely lad by all accounts and he can’t half kick a football. But Chelsea have the resources to win the league this season and Ancelotti, a man who does not seem like he tolerates many fools let alone the JTW, knows this.
So what else? Benitez has shown yet again that he is a terrible businessman by selling another flop at a big loss, this time the blundering Andrea Dossena. These kind of actions leave the Spaniard with 10p and half a polo to spend, which they will use to purchase Maxi Rodriguez from Athletico Madrid.
Alex McLeish has been handed a king’s ransom with which to bolster Birmingham City’s title push, and the Scot has, in his wisdom, deemed Darren Bent’s understudy Kenwyn Jones worthy of 11 of these millions. Blimey.
Old man Redknapp has managed to keep his massive jowly mouth surprisingly shut so far but it can only be a matter of time before he starts grooming someone like Matthew Upson on the internet, asking if he’d like to take off his kit and put on Uncle Harry’s special white shirt.
Martin O’Neill is too worried about players leaving to sign anyone. He is an excitable, slightly edgy Irish man and it’s very important that he keeps his squad together. Aston Villa will do fine this season.
Roy Hodgson is a sensible man who manages a sensible football club, and he seems to have made the most sensible signing of anyone so far, bringing in 20 year old Roma striker Stefano Okaka which just seems like a good move, even though I have not a clue who the guy is. He won’t cost very much and he’ll do the business won’t he.
It’s very late, but there’s just enough time to point out that Goal 7, the seventh in the popular football film series, is out now on JTW pictures, starring Landon Donovan as the American footballer who signs on loan to Everton and finds love, goals, and a crippling grit and gas crisis.
Wrap up warm!
AP
Manchester City were hotly anticipated to spend as frivolously as ever, yet having at time of writing just about wrapped up the capture of Patrick Vieira from Inter Milan, they have announced no more players will come or go.
Whilst in one sense it is reassuring that despite their resources they are not throwing money around, Mancini’s choice seems bizarre. Vieira is 33, out of form and out of favour in Italy.
City already have De Jong, one of the success stories of the season, protecting their back four, a job which Kompany can also handle comfortably.
“B….but…”, City splutter, “He won titles with Arsenal, Juventus (kind of) and Inter, and he’s got loads of experience! And he worked under Mancini once already!”
All true. But what does it mean now? Arsenal are a whisper away from second place in the Premiership with a squad which, compared to City, are complete rookies.
Yes experience is important, but you can’t measure it out in the same way as talent. “Vieira may not have the speed and ability of Messi, but he’s got experience!” Wow, put me down for three please.
Talking of Arsenal, how I dread this times. Wenger won’t even allow us to dream, snaffling out any pesky rumours of us signing a star forward with a weary, “I like the player, but we could not sign him,” followed by a shrug.
Instead he drags long term targets around like a pretty drunk girl staggering across the dancefloor, dragging her expensive coat through beer and sick and trying to find the door.
She makes occasional smiles and signals which the rest of us lap up gleefully, convinced something incredible is going to happen, and then she just ends up stuffing a number just about containing six zeroes in your pocket and getting a taxi, and we have to wait three years before Nasri hits form.
Fergy behaves admirably at these times, signing the one or two players he wants quickly and smoothly and then shutting the fuck up about it. He allows the papers to speculate and gesticulate wildly and gets on with doing his job. United will sign no one during JTW’s visit.
Chelsea always seem to be the side that the great and good of European football want to go to. Other English teams are too English, like gravy and mining, apart from Arsenal who don’t have any money.
If they manage to get Sergio Aguero, they’ll have done well. He’s young, seems like a lovely lad by all accounts and he can’t half kick a football. But Chelsea have the resources to win the league this season and Ancelotti, a man who does not seem like he tolerates many fools let alone the JTW, knows this.
So what else? Benitez has shown yet again that he is a terrible businessman by selling another flop at a big loss, this time the blundering Andrea Dossena. These kind of actions leave the Spaniard with 10p and half a polo to spend, which they will use to purchase Maxi Rodriguez from Athletico Madrid.
Alex McLeish has been handed a king’s ransom with which to bolster Birmingham City’s title push, and the Scot has, in his wisdom, deemed Darren Bent’s understudy Kenwyn Jones worthy of 11 of these millions. Blimey.
Old man Redknapp has managed to keep his massive jowly mouth surprisingly shut so far but it can only be a matter of time before he starts grooming someone like Matthew Upson on the internet, asking if he’d like to take off his kit and put on Uncle Harry’s special white shirt.
Martin O’Neill is too worried about players leaving to sign anyone. He is an excitable, slightly edgy Irish man and it’s very important that he keeps his squad together. Aston Villa will do fine this season.
Roy Hodgson is a sensible man who manages a sensible football club, and he seems to have made the most sensible signing of anyone so far, bringing in 20 year old Roma striker Stefano Okaka which just seems like a good move, even though I have not a clue who the guy is. He won’t cost very much and he’ll do the business won’t he.
It’s very late, but there’s just enough time to point out that Goal 7, the seventh in the popular football film series, is out now on JTW pictures, starring Landon Donovan as the American footballer who signs on loan to Everton and finds love, goals, and a crippling grit and gas crisis.
Wrap up warm!
AP
Monday, December 14, 2009
The Title Race - Balancing Quality with Belief
What an odd weekend!
For as long as anyone can remember football’s talking heads have sat scratching their chins, philosophising about the psychological aspect of the game and how much confidence affects a result.
As an Arsenal fan I cringe when we lose and an ex-player or sympathetic pundit puts a clumsy defeat down to ‘a lack of confidence’.
I mean for chrissakes. These are athletes who are the best of the best of the best. Of the hundreds of millions of young men who play football week in week out, they are in the top 500 bracket.
Confidence shouldn’t even be a factor anymore; if you get that far and still don’t believe in yourself, there’s something very wrong with you.
Well at least, that’s what I thought until I witnessed Chelsea’s self belief crumble, as their previously watertight defence conceded nine goals in three games.
A side so bullishly self-assured choked in an unlikely sequence of fixtures: embarrassed by Blackburn, defeated by vulnerable Man City, frustrated by lowly Apoel Nicosia and stumped by struggling Everton.
It’s difficult to put such dips in form down to tactical error or lapses in concentration when your team is topping the league, undefeated in Europe. A poor result can be carried by the mightiest club like a wound, a chink in the armour exploited.
Or it can be shrugged off, as Manchester United have historically done so astutely, and accepted as a brief lapse before full focus it placed on victory in the next game, an immediate return to glory.
Perhaps it is testament to how long United’s players have spent together that they possess such resilience. Who would bet against them putting Wolves to the sword midweek, quenching the frustration of defeat by raining goals on the away end?
Chelsea’s squad is certainly very familiar with itself, but they have a new manager now and are still learning how to be Ancellotti’s Chelsea, diamonds and all.
Arsenal has suffered from continuous transition in recent years and seem to be settling into themselves finally.
Any step backwards has been followed by two steps forwards, and the team’s response to Wenger’s half time dressing-down at Anfield confirms the emergence of that elusive backbone so long sought after.
Meanwhile, despite having a huge squad and a midfield to die for, Spurs still don’t actually believe that they really could challenge for the title (they really could) and followed their astonishing obliteration of Wigan with two draws and a defeat.
On the basis of quality alone Chelsea will win the league, but on the balance of quality and self-belief then it will be United.
If the other contenders can tip the scales in their favour we could have a very interesting title run-in, in a league which is wide open like never before.
Enjoy the mid-week games.
AP
For as long as anyone can remember football’s talking heads have sat scratching their chins, philosophising about the psychological aspect of the game and how much confidence affects a result.
As an Arsenal fan I cringe when we lose and an ex-player or sympathetic pundit puts a clumsy defeat down to ‘a lack of confidence’.
I mean for chrissakes. These are athletes who are the best of the best of the best. Of the hundreds of millions of young men who play football week in week out, they are in the top 500 bracket.
Confidence shouldn’t even be a factor anymore; if you get that far and still don’t believe in yourself, there’s something very wrong with you.
Well at least, that’s what I thought until I witnessed Chelsea’s self belief crumble, as their previously watertight defence conceded nine goals in three games.
A side so bullishly self-assured choked in an unlikely sequence of fixtures: embarrassed by Blackburn, defeated by vulnerable Man City, frustrated by lowly Apoel Nicosia and stumped by struggling Everton.
It’s difficult to put such dips in form down to tactical error or lapses in concentration when your team is topping the league, undefeated in Europe. A poor result can be carried by the mightiest club like a wound, a chink in the armour exploited.
Or it can be shrugged off, as Manchester United have historically done so astutely, and accepted as a brief lapse before full focus it placed on victory in the next game, an immediate return to glory.
Perhaps it is testament to how long United’s players have spent together that they possess such resilience. Who would bet against them putting Wolves to the sword midweek, quenching the frustration of defeat by raining goals on the away end?
Chelsea’s squad is certainly very familiar with itself, but they have a new manager now and are still learning how to be Ancellotti’s Chelsea, diamonds and all.
Arsenal has suffered from continuous transition in recent years and seem to be settling into themselves finally.
Any step backwards has been followed by two steps forwards, and the team’s response to Wenger’s half time dressing-down at Anfield confirms the emergence of that elusive backbone so long sought after.
Meanwhile, despite having a huge squad and a midfield to die for, Spurs still don’t actually believe that they really could challenge for the title (they really could) and followed their astonishing obliteration of Wigan with two draws and a defeat.
On the basis of quality alone Chelsea will win the league, but on the balance of quality and self-belief then it will be United.
If the other contenders can tip the scales in their favour we could have a very interesting title run-in, in a league which is wide open like never before.
Enjoy the mid-week games.
AP
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Defeat - Introspection - Improvement - Success
ON SUNDAY afternoon, Didier Drogba dispatched a perfectly flighted free kick into the corner of Almunia’s net and sealed a victory which brought Arsenal’s latest weakness into cold focus.
Before the game, I’d been preparing a blog entry centred on the Gunner’s physical shortcomings. I was going to make a detailed comparison between the stature of the Invincibles squad 03/04 and the current team, and point out why this meant we lose matches like the game against Sunderland the previous weekend (which I didn’t even watch!) and why we’d struggle against Chelsea.
But having observed our defeat against the Blues I realised I’d got it wrong…or more accurately, only got it 15% right.
We did very little wrong in terms of our performance. We passed well, kept possession convincingly and physically held our own. Song looks increasingly like a Mascherano figure, an excellent ball-winner with superb distributional skills. Fabregas, Nasri, Denilson and Arshavin are all fighters and put paid to the flimsy argument that we are a soft team.
All three of the goals scored against us were undeniably unstoppable, and the Gallas/Vermaelen partnership continues to improve. This wasn’t a defensive issue either by the way.
No, our shortcomings came from the most unlikely source. Despite a large goal haul this season our multi-pronged attack was completely impotent. As a result of the loss of a single player, Robin Van Persie, the ability to convert the many openings we created into goals, or even shots, escaped us.
Van Persie is a menace. He thrives on tricking and tormenting defenders, getting in their face, twisting and turning and using his brain as well as his feet to combine telepathically with the equally cerebral Fabregas. This is why everyone apart from Arsenal fans cannot stand him.
Eduardo has brains and talent too, but is non-confrontational and bounced off the brick wall Chelsea presented us with like a tennis ball.
Bendtner, who has been looking more and more capable recently of providing a similar service to RVP, was injured and unavailable. Premier League winning teams don’t become useless because two of their strikers are crocked.
OK that’s a little harsh. We will come up against defences as well organised once in a blue moon. But those blue moons will rise again this season.
Wenger had his beady eye on Bordeaux’s Marouane Chamakh in the summer. Judging by his Champions League performances this season he would have proved useful during this difficult period.
At the same time, the gaffer refuses to bury his squad beneath new signings, giving everyone in the first team breathing space, and with six strikers on the books, he was justified in not bringing the Moroccan to the Emirates.
So in reality, no WRONG decisions have been made here, but Chelsea have brought to attention a chink in the armour which must be repaired.
Wenger says:
"I didn't feel we were in the need to buy anybody but we will be out on the market that is for sure now.”
After being accused of being too proud for his own good on various occasions it looks like this time he’s managed to swallow it, representing an ambition for success that matches the fan’s hunger for silverware.
So we keep the trust, and move onwards and upwards.
Happy advent.
AP
Before the game, I’d been preparing a blog entry centred on the Gunner’s physical shortcomings. I was going to make a detailed comparison between the stature of the Invincibles squad 03/04 and the current team, and point out why this meant we lose matches like the game against Sunderland the previous weekend (which I didn’t even watch!) and why we’d struggle against Chelsea.
But having observed our defeat against the Blues I realised I’d got it wrong…or more accurately, only got it 15% right.
We did very little wrong in terms of our performance. We passed well, kept possession convincingly and physically held our own. Song looks increasingly like a Mascherano figure, an excellent ball-winner with superb distributional skills. Fabregas, Nasri, Denilson and Arshavin are all fighters and put paid to the flimsy argument that we are a soft team.
All three of the goals scored against us were undeniably unstoppable, and the Gallas/Vermaelen partnership continues to improve. This wasn’t a defensive issue either by the way.
No, our shortcomings came from the most unlikely source. Despite a large goal haul this season our multi-pronged attack was completely impotent. As a result of the loss of a single player, Robin Van Persie, the ability to convert the many openings we created into goals, or even shots, escaped us.
Van Persie is a menace. He thrives on tricking and tormenting defenders, getting in their face, twisting and turning and using his brain as well as his feet to combine telepathically with the equally cerebral Fabregas. This is why everyone apart from Arsenal fans cannot stand him.
Eduardo has brains and talent too, but is non-confrontational and bounced off the brick wall Chelsea presented us with like a tennis ball.
Bendtner, who has been looking more and more capable recently of providing a similar service to RVP, was injured and unavailable. Premier League winning teams don’t become useless because two of their strikers are crocked.
OK that’s a little harsh. We will come up against defences as well organised once in a blue moon. But those blue moons will rise again this season.
Wenger had his beady eye on Bordeaux’s Marouane Chamakh in the summer. Judging by his Champions League performances this season he would have proved useful during this difficult period.
At the same time, the gaffer refuses to bury his squad beneath new signings, giving everyone in the first team breathing space, and with six strikers on the books, he was justified in not bringing the Moroccan to the Emirates.
So in reality, no WRONG decisions have been made here, but Chelsea have brought to attention a chink in the armour which must be repaired.
Wenger says:
"I didn't feel we were in the need to buy anybody but we will be out on the market that is for sure now.”
After being accused of being too proud for his own good on various occasions it looks like this time he’s managed to swallow it, representing an ambition for success that matches the fan’s hunger for silverware.
So we keep the trust, and move onwards and upwards.
Happy advent.
AP
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Enemy - Live at Manchester Apollo (for Manchester Evening News)
Here's my most recent review for the Manchester Evening News. This time The Enemy play Manchester Apollo.
http://www.citylife.co.uk/music/reviews/17435_swaggering_charm_from_the_enemy
Sure.
AP
http://www.citylife.co.uk/music/reviews/17435_swaggering_charm_from_the_enemy
Sure.
AP
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Alberta Cross - Taking Control (single, reviewed for Citylifers.co.uk)
Treacherous band Alberta Cross hails from London but jumped our sinking island to go to New York and get famous.
It seems to be working out for them as ‘Taking Control’, first single from debut album Broken Side of Time, is a bit of a treat.
It’s bluesy, gushing indie squirting from the vein of Kings of Leon, but their shimmering, crashing chord sound and pounding drums betray their Englishness.
There’s a lot of promise here and we’d do well to stake our claim to these guys before the yanks call dibs.
It seems to be working out for them as ‘Taking Control’, first single from debut album Broken Side of Time, is a bit of a treat.
It’s bluesy, gushing indie squirting from the vein of Kings of Leon, but their shimmering, crashing chord sound and pounding drums betray their Englishness.
There’s a lot of promise here and we’d do well to stake our claim to these guys before the yanks call dibs.
Eamon McGrath - 13 Songs of Whiskey and Light (review for Citylifers)
As Eamon slurs through smoke-shredded throat, “Well I got myself a drinking problem now, but I blame it on the town,” during the jagged and shadowy ‘Desperation, Alberta’, you’ll get butterflies and register that this album is superb.
This Canadian fella has only just hit his twenties, that’s the scary thing. He sounds like he has the burden of an entire lifetime on his shoulders, and damn he knows how to make you feel every tear of it.
After easing you in with the piano-lead ‘Welcome to the Heart’, he catches you off guard with ‘Machine Gun Cowboy’ and its sneering folk-punk sensibilities. He growls moodily, “I’m going up to heaven soon,” and Cobain is up there somewhere listening thinking that maybe things weren’t so bad.
The psychedelia of ‘Last Man Standing’ flows into drinking song ’Cadillac Rosetown’, past the majestic sway of ‘Holy Roller’ and into that first song I mentioned.
Bonus points are added for the song title ‘Darby Crash and Burn Guitars’ before the album draws to an increasingly sombre close.
It begins to feel momentarily like the whole thing is in danger of fizzling out, before the absolutely sublime ‘Ecstasy Railings’ drags you helplessly into a blissful coked up coma, a serene drug-ballad that book-ends the release perfectly.
13 Songs of Whiskey and Light is in fact merely a compilation of old material released in anticipation of Eamon’s first album proper, to be titled Peace Maker. You have every right to be excited.
This Canadian fella has only just hit his twenties, that’s the scary thing. He sounds like he has the burden of an entire lifetime on his shoulders, and damn he knows how to make you feel every tear of it.
After easing you in with the piano-lead ‘Welcome to the Heart’, he catches you off guard with ‘Machine Gun Cowboy’ and its sneering folk-punk sensibilities. He growls moodily, “I’m going up to heaven soon,” and Cobain is up there somewhere listening thinking that maybe things weren’t so bad.
The psychedelia of ‘Last Man Standing’ flows into drinking song ’Cadillac Rosetown’, past the majestic sway of ‘Holy Roller’ and into that first song I mentioned.
Bonus points are added for the song title ‘Darby Crash and Burn Guitars’ before the album draws to an increasingly sombre close.
It begins to feel momentarily like the whole thing is in danger of fizzling out, before the absolutely sublime ‘Ecstasy Railings’ drags you helplessly into a blissful coked up coma, a serene drug-ballad that book-ends the release perfectly.
13 Songs of Whiskey and Light is in fact merely a compilation of old material released in anticipation of Eamon’s first album proper, to be titled Peace Maker. You have every right to be excited.
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